Ministry of Propaganda

Ministry of Propaganda - 16/Sep/2004: "TV Licensing Jubilee"

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TV Licensing Jubilee

Picture of the letters from Tv Licensing

Yes, it's time for a little jubilee: One year of letters from TV Licensing. The last time I posted about TV Licensing I only had five letters, now I have 13. With so many letters I thought it's time I bore you with some useless facts and statistics about/ from the letters. Happy reading:

Useless point of Information Value
Number of televisions (or TV receiving equipment) in my current flat: 0
Number of months this has been the case: 14+
Number of years since I last had a television: 7
Number of letters received: 13
Number of letters addressed to "The Present Occupier": 12
Number of letters addressed to Ms X: 1 (and she moved out more than 14mth ago)
Number of letters signed by Val Smith (Customer Services): 2
Number of letters signed by Michelle Tunstall (TV Licensing Enforcement Manager) 5
Number of letters signed by John Thompson (TV Licensing Enforcement Manager) 6
Number of times I thought these people really exist: 0
Cost of a TV License until March 2004 £ 116
Cost of a TV License since April 2004 £ 121
Number of letters telling me that they've written to me before: 3
Number of times I was told that I'm high on their list (probably not the one for Christmas cards...): 7
Number of "Payment Notices - Payment due immediately" (Eh? Payment for what exactly?): 3
Number of times they asked me to tell them if do not use TV receiving equipment: 13
Number of times their letter included a prepaid response envelope and an easy to use form: 0
Number of letters I therefore sent to them telling them that I don't have "TV receiving equipment": 0
Amount TV Licensing spent on sending me letters (based on the assumption that each letter costs 50p): £ 6:50
Amount they would have had to spend if their first letter had included a response paid envelope (estimate): £ 1:50
Amount they could have saved based on these assumptions: £ 5:00
Likelyhood I would have sent a letter even without a response paid envelope if their letters had been worded a bit friendlier and less threatening: 80%
Amount they could have possibly saved in this case: £ 4-5
Likelyhood that I'm going to reply assuming their letters continue to be unfriendly and threatening as well as don't contain a response paid envelope: 0%
Number of letters with a red border and a red logo: 7
Number of letters without a border but only a blue logo: 2
Number of letters with a blue border and a blue logo: 1
Number of letters with a coloured "Payment Notice" box on the right: 3
Of which are blue: 2
Of which are red: 1
Age from which you can obtain a free TV License: 75
Number of times I was told this for the time being not very interesting fact (at least for me not very interesting): 13
Number of different telephone numbers I was given to call and pay (pay for what?) over the phone: 6
Number of times I was told that "A prosecution has serious consequences": 3
Amount a fine could potentially be: £ 1,000:00
Number of minutes this scared me: 0
Number of times I was told "You are due to receive a visit from a TV Licensing Officer": 5
Number of times I was told "TV Licensing Officers will soon be visiting Dewell Mews": 3
Number of times I was told "Our Enforcement Officers could now visit you during the evening or at weekends" 2
Number of times a TV Licensing Officer actually showed up: Erm, 0

OK, I think that's enough useless facts. I really don't have a television (or television receiving equipment for that matter), haven't had on for years now. When I read comments like these, why should I get one? I've got enough things to do as it is and to get the news I don't need a TV either.

I find these letters insulting and annoying and I'm not the only one. But the letters just keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

And keep coming...

End of entry

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